I Need Beans!

It is 7am and the line is getting closer and closer to the back wall.  The cars in the drive-thru have wrapped their way around the parking lot.  The pressure is on, we have to get these drinks out as fast as possible.  Along with eight other Baristas we have our places, everyone knows what they need to do, where they need to stay.  We are a team, highly dependent on those around us.

Last week I was working the morning rush, like usual, and my job was to make all the drinks for our drive thru customers.  There is a lot of pressure to get drinks out in the allotted time, with as few mistakes as possible.  Your ears are constantly flooded with new drink orders coming in as well as fellow coworkers telling you if you need to work faster.  Pressure.

For a while this system works, but eventually the rush takes its toll and you need more milk, or vanilla syrup, or lids, or ice.  I cannot move from my spot, I have to keep making drinks so that customers outside are not left waiting.  All I can do is yell at the top of my lungs, "I need Grande Hot Lids!" and hope someone who can run heard me.

I hear in the distance someone yell, "Grande Hot Lids!"  Relief, I have been heard, I can keep up my pace, keep doing what I need to do.  

I walked away from work that day exhausted, but completely happy.  Every request, every need that I made known to my coworkers was heard and they met it for me.  It filled my heart on so many levels, and really made me think, when was the last time I made sure I was surrounded by people and activities that fill my heart, meet my needs.  And not just when I get desperate, but looking ahead and knowing what my needs will be when I have a busy week.

Rarely, lets be honest.

If I hadn't already been blown away by having all my needs met for 8 hours straight one day, it hit the next day.  I don't know what changed, but no one heard me all day.  I was constantly calling out what I needed and no one responded.  It left me doing eight things at once and drained me completely.  I could not function like that and after time I couldn't keep up with not being heard which slowed everyone else down too.  

My life is so similar to the morning rush at Starbucks.  I go through periods when things are crazy and I need built in people and activities to help keep me sane.  If I don't build those into my life automatically then I will be left trying to do everything on my own.  Trying to get everything I need and give it all out at the same time.  

Working at Starbucks is teaching me more and more about taking care of my heart, but also looking out for the needs of others.  Not focusing so much on myself to not hear the calls for "More Mocha" or "Bacon Sandwiches" but to make sure that I am making my needs known, getting them taken care of, so that I can help in the needs of others.

The Men in My Life

Over the weekend a friend was gracious enough to let me borrow her car while she went out of town. Transportational freedom! Even with all the snow Denver got blasted with over the weekend I was ever grateful to have a way to run some extra errands and meet with some people farther away.

However, on Friday I had a slight change of plans when the car battery died. I will spare you the details, but after several jumps, a new battery and enlisting the help of some awesome men I was back in good shape. As I came home Friday night I started thinking about the men in my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

For as long as I can remember I have always had a wealth of guy friends. Maybe it is because I have two brothers, or maybe that's just how I roll. I have blogged about some of my guy friends before, but today, I want to highlight two in particular. They usually go unnoticed, and are as humble as their male egos will let them be. These two are the "heroes" of my car conundrum over the weekend and definitely deserve a shout out.

Everyone, meet Chris. He is my baby brother. Well, he is nearly 21 and stands a good eight inches taller than me. In the last year or so he has taught me how to change a tire and how to jump a car. Honestly, I would much rather play the role of "damsel in distress" and have a guy do those things for me. But every time Chris makes me get out of the car and learn how to do it myself. I don't know if he sees it or not, but that tells me he loves me enough to not be totally helpless with car stuff. (Which I am...)  Chris has something special in store for his life and I cannot wait to see him discover it.

This is Devin. He is my oldest friend going all the way back to my Camp Id-Ra-Ha-Je days. He (and his dad) are the big heroes of the battery dilemma. When someone loves sports as much as Devin does and turns off the game to come help...believe me it does not go unnoticed. All four hours he and his dad were there, teaching me how to change a battery, knowing exactly what the issues were and well, just being awesome.  Many people don't understand why Devin and I are friends, but there's history there.  When you have shared enough of life together you can't just let them go.  Seriously, you should know Devin.  He is one of my favorite people in the world.  And, his family has single-handedly given me hope for restoration in family.  Go Team Howard!

As I talk to some of my girl friends most of us agree on one thing. Men (or one man in particular) are desired for times just like this. Someone to come to our rescue when we just don't know what to do. Sometimes I get upset because I don't feel like I can call my dad for help with cars, but I am constantly amazed at God's goodness for exactly where I am in life. More often than I care to admit I forget to thank God for the little things. I am never forgotten and He is always with me.

So thanks Abba Father for always having my back and sending some great men in my life to help me out when you just can't be there in person.


Photo Courtesy of 2heads_Advertising

Independent

in·de·pend·ent
[in-di-pen-duhnt]
–adjective

1.

not influenced by the thought or action of others:independent research.

2.

not dependent; not depending or contingent upon somethingelse for existence, operation, etc.

3.

not relying on another or others for aid or support.

4.

Mathematics . (of a quantity or function) not depending uponanother for its value.

5.

Grammar . capable of standing syntactically as a complete sentence

I was raised to be independent.  Do things myself, do them well.  Becoming an independent adult was a big value my dad impressed upon me.  It wasn't until this summer when I started to wonder if being independent was a bad thing.


Not just my family, but I think being an independent woman is a value of American culture today.  We are moving away from feeling like we need a man to accomplish anything in life...or anyone.  You see it in the movies, hear it in music all the time.  The only way to get anywhere in life is to do it yourself.  An attitude of "you are only responsible for you, make it count."  Which, may not be a bad thing inherently, but once it festers...


Like I said, I never thought being independent was a bad thing.  My independence put me through high school in 3 years, gave me the courage to move to Poland at 17, and again at 24.  Independence I credit toward some of my best life experiences.  If it wasn't for my gut telling me to not hold anything back...my life would be so boring.


This summer I was talking to some girls in Poland for a short-term mission trip and mentioned that I have always been "independent."  The looks on their faces were puzzled.  "What do you mean you are independent?"  "So you don't think you need other people?"  WHAT?  No, that is not what I meant at all...


I struggled to explain myself and they cautioned me against using the word independent in the future.  Never would I have thought that being independent was something to be wary of.  Over the next few months I wrestled with the idea of independence, was I really doing something completely wrong?

No, I don't think being independent is a bad thing.  If I wasn't independent I would have totally floundered in Poland.  God created me this way, and if I was heavily dependent I never would have moved to Poland in the first place.  Where my problem lies is I hate asking people for help.

I hate knowing I am a burden to other people and I won't ask for help unless there is absolutely no way to get it done myself.  That's my fall.  For example, I wanted to color my hair for the first time and I spent 4 hours translating the directions from Polish to English on Google Translate.  I could have just called a friend and have them tell me, but no.  Independence for the win.

God knows exactly where we struggle, its funny because he won't let us stay there.  I see that with where my life is right now.  I don't have a car so I have to depend on other people to get around.  I don't know how long I am in Colorado, so for now I am sleeping on someone's couch.  I can't go back to Poland until I have the funding, which means I have to ask people to donate.

My life is hanging on dependency.  It has been tough, but I am learning to humble myself and ask for help.  My stomach churns at the thought, but I think its good for me.

Independence?  That's middle class blasphemy.  We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth. -George Bernard Shaw

People You Should Meet - Ben McKee

I wish Ben and I had a better story of how we met, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore.

I first met Ben last July when I was feeling lonely and about to walk into a particularly trying time at work.  I signed up for an online dating site and noticed Ben within a week.  It didn't take long for us to start talking via e-mail.

Ben and I hit it off right away.  One of those connections where I felt like we had known each other for years.  It was only a few days later before we met at one of our favorite coffee shops downtown.  Six hours later we decided to see a movie the next day.

As I got to know Ben I didn't know if he would turn into "something more,"  but I was convinced if anything he would become an amazing friend.

For the rest of the year our friendship developed very slowly.  A coffee here, a phone conversation a couple months later.  Every time we spoke I was deeply encouraged and challenged to become a better person or work on my relationship with God.  Ben was definitely in my life for a reason.

For my birthday Ben, along with our mutual friend, Eric, took me out for the evening.  They were very intent on making me feel special and loved on my birthday.  Success!  Beer sampling, Avatar and dinner.  What a awesome night.

He always made time to hear my heart and talk me through my discouragement with Poland.  My heart always felt more calm after a conversation with Ben.  One of these conversations led to him filming a video for me to use in sharing my heart for Poland.  All his idea, I just had to show up with my dance skills and a few friends.  Done and done.  Ben was a rockstar.

Making the video and all the time we spent together planning and executing it just deepened our friendship.  He has become this key part of my life that I am so grateful for.  I have never had someone be so skilled in de-stressing me when I am freaking out.  Always bringing me back to earth and gently reminding me that I am a child of God and everything will be ok.

Right now we are in the thrust of summer concert season and since we share a deep passion for many of the same bands this has been so much fun.  Free tickets to see Daughtry last month, the final Denver show for Meese and tomorrow, floor tickets to see OneRepublic.

I am having a lot of fun.  Ben simply knows how to make me laugh and feel safe and cared for all at the same time.  Who knows if it will ever turn into anything more, but for now.  I am ok with where we are at.  I would never want to compromise our friendship by trying to force a relationship.

If you ever have the chance to meet Ben, take it up.    Take a chance to pick his brain about the best beer (one of his passions) or where to find the best cold-pressed coffee in Denver.  You will learn more than you ever wanted to know!  Just stay away from the subject of recycling...just kidding.  He is from Oregon and his earth consciousness resembles that of a Boulder-ite.  Ben is great really, you should know him.