I Don't Need It

I read a blog the other day that while I was reading shrugged off as incredibly simple and full of things I already knew.  However, as time has gone on my mind continues to ponder what was written.  Maybe I did know what the author had stated, but had I really taken the truths to heart?  Definitely not.

The blog is all about using your time as a single woman wisely, not waiting around for God to bring a man into your life like some worn out fairy tale.  Yes, this is all information I had heard before growing up in church.  But this lady took a different approach, she used scripture to back herself up.  And then based on scripture she asks four questions:

• Do I trust that he has ordained my days? (Psalm 139: 5, 6, 16)
• Do I trust that he supplies all I need? (Matthew 6:32)
• Do I trust that never will he leave me or forsake me? (Joshua 1:5)
• Do I trust that who I am in Christ defines me? (Colossians 2:10)

I asked myself those same four questions.  So I REALLY truly believe that God has ordained my days on this earth?  Do I REALLY truly trust that He supplies all I need?  Yes, yes in my human flesh I do trust those things about God.  

If I am trying to just hang on until I get married and don’t accept my singleness in this season, then I am saying that these days that God has ordained are not enough, that he made a mistake and is a liar.

Whoh.  I don't believe that God makes mistakes or is a liar, so my only option is to really trust that He is the way He says He is.

The simple truth is that he takes care of my every need and provides all that I need—if I don’t have it, I don’t need it. And I can rest in this because I know he is a loving God.

That statement really hit home with me. If I don't have it, then I don't need it. You have no idea how many times I have caught myself repeating that sentence in my head. And you know what, it has brought me a lot of peace. God knows exactly what I need and when and if He hasn't given me something, including a spouse, then I don't need it. How freeing is that? God sees me, just as I am, and doesn't think I need anyone else in my life to make me better. In the words of Bridgett Jones, "He likes me just as I am." 

Being here in Poland as a single woman has really put me face to face with actually being single.  In the first month or so, it was rough.  I felt that longing, the desire to have someone to talk to and love on.  Someone who knows me inside and out.  But obviously it wasn't what God wanted for me right now and my heart was kind of bitter about that.  

God keeps bringing up the topic of dating and marriage in my life so it has been very hard to ignore.  A number of my good friends are getting married this year, or are dating someone.  As I talk to each of them about their relationships, God talks to me.  He reaches down into the inner most part of my heart that longs to be married and if I don't fight back He brings peace.  

I don't know what the future holds for me and relationships.  I have had some great ones and some terrible ones.  They taught me a lot about life and love.  All I know is that when God looks at me He does not see me as "single."  He sees me as HIS daughter, redeemed by grace.  And right now, I just need to wait and rest in that for a little while.  You know, until God tells me to do something else.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 

John 14:27