Hip-Hop Theme Song

Over the last two and a half years I have unashamedly fallen in "love" with hip-hop.  Not only the music, but the dance style as well.  Something completely different from the ballet and conservative nature I had conveyed.  I know someone will prolly slap my hand for listening to "heathen-music" but don't discount it.  God can still use it to meet us where we are at.  And until Christian hip-hop stops sucking...well, then I'm keeping my iPod loaded with clean(er) hip-hop.

What's funny is that with as much as I love music and find myself in the lyrics, I never thought a hip-hop song would become my theme song for this season in Poland.  It was tearing up the radio when I left Colorado, becoming one of those songs that you start to hate just because it is played way too often.  I only bought it on iTunes because I missed the music I heard in Colorado.  Little did I know that it would start to resonate with my heart.

The first line of the song says, "I came to dance, dance, dance, dance..."  That's right, I came to Poland to dance, dance, dance, dance.  You have my attention Taio Cruz.  The song portrays an attitude of "letting go" and "living life," which is (sans Jesus) exactly where I am at these days.  Feeling free.

The chorus talks about rocking the club and lighting it up like dynamite, which is figurative...naturally.  The place I teach ballet classes is called "The Club" and we are called to be the light of the world.  Lighting up like dynamite.  It just fits.

Sometimes I do throw my hands in the air, in joy and frustration.  Its a part of life in ministry.

It may seem like a stretch to you, but after listening to this song many times walking to The Club, this is the perfect song for the last few months.  Take a listen to the song and check out the lyrics!



Dynamite - Taio Cruz
I came to dance, dance, dance, dance
I hit the floor cuz that's my plans, plans, plans, plans
I'm wearing all my favorite brands, brands, brands, brands
Give me space for both my hands, hands, hands, hands
You, you
Cuz it goes on and on and on
And it goes on and on and on

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying Ayo
Gotta let go
I wanna celebrate and life my life
Saying Ayo
Baby let's go

Cuz we gonna rock this club
We gonna go all night
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite
Cuz I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite

I came to move, move, move, move
Get out the way me and my crew, crew, crew, crew
I'm in the club so I'm gonna do, do, do, do
Just drop the phone, came here to do, do, do, do

Yeah, yeah

Cuz it goes on and on and on
And it goes on and on and on

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying Ayo
Gotta let go
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying Ayo
Baby let's go

Cuz we gonna rock this club
We gonna go all night
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite
Cuz I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite

I'm gonna take it all out
I'm gonna be the last one standing
I'm alone and all I
I'm gonna be the last one standing
Cuz I, I, believe it
And I, I, I
I just want it all
I'm gonna put my hands in the air
Hands in the air
Put your hands in the air

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying Ayo
Gotta let go
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying Ayo
Baby, let's go
Cuz we gonna rock this club
We gonna go all night
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite
Cuz I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gonna light it up
Like its dynamite

Stop and Stare

Last night I had the AWESOME opportunity to see OneRepublic in concert.  We were so close to the stage it was unreal.  Gosh...


The song below was played last night and it hit me how true it is to my life.  Take a listen...




This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

Moving On

This has been a long road, one that I moved along slowly making sure that I didn't rebound or rush into another relationship.  The process took me longer than many friends were willing to endure but it was just long enough.  There were many nights I spent frustrated and broken just wanting to forget.  Clinging to the hope that one day I would no longer miss him and that I would meet someone who blew my mind more than he did.

His memory never faded, but the feelings have been safely buried deep inside to where I don't feel them anymore.

This journey has not been without some shallow "crushes" on a few cute boys in my life.  I always knew they weren't the forever-type but it was nice to have someone to giggle about in the corners of my mind.  One crush in particular has lasted just over a year and that person was at the center of many of 2009's great moments.

Now, I try really hard not to be superstitious, but what happened on New Year's Eve has had me thinking for the last few days.

The guy I mentioned before invited me to spend New Year's Eve with him and his roommate skating at Evergreen Lake.  I was so thrilled that someone wanted to spend NYE with me!  I didn't want to get my hopes up about this night, but there was a part of my heart that wanted to be prepared in case something did happen.

Driving to meet him that night I was listening to the radio.  A song came on that took me back to my last relationship, the one I tried so hard to get over and move on.  My mind began to wonder if I was asked out tonight if I should say "yes."  Now I had originally settled on walking through that door if it was opened, but now I wasn't so sure.

Just three weeks before a dear friend said to me, "You two are perfect for each other, I don't see why you can't get back together."  I know she is right but I don't know what to do about it.

Now on what I thought was the verge of a new relationship I was wondering if I needed to hold out for a second chance with the man I used to love.

2 more songs played, each held a special meaning to that past relationship.  I pulled into the parking lot hearing, "It's not over...."

It's 2010 and I am still not certain that the old relationship is over and done with.  I really don't want to hold myself back by holding on but maybe the world doesn't want me to fully move on and forget.

Dead and Gone

On my way home for work today I was sitting at a stop light when I noticed something written on the rear windshield of a car in front of me. "This year is mine 2009." I smiled as I let those words sink deep into my heart. As I waited for the light to turn green I realized that I felt the same way. My mind raced through all the events of 2008 and how I felt that the entire year of my life had been taken from me. I deeply yearned for 2009 to be better, I wanted for once to feel like I was making my own decisions. I commend the driver of that red Explorer who is publicly reclaiming this year. I can only imagine that they felt the same way I did at the end of 2008.

There is something about unexpected turns in life that make you feel like you need to change. Whether it is your hair, your wardrobe, your friends, your belief system...we all need change to move on. In order to forget.

I have always been drawn to the song above, but never really got it until I saw the video tonight. Enjoy the vocal stylings of T.I. and JT and what the message has to say about moving on and living lives without regret.